Banbury Crossroads
Independent School

At Banbury, one of our most cherished values is that of self responsibility. It is one of our defining principles. As the end of the year draws near, one important indication of how our students have been exercising their self responsibility is the progress of their academics. At this point, some students will be finished their courses already, others will be perched to complete them by the end of June, and still others will need to carry these subjects through the summer or into September. For those students who are “ahead”, there is no perceived problem, but for those who are “behind”, both students and parents may judge it to be a big problem. However, the development of self responsibility is a process of growing awareness within the students that they are in control of themselves. It is important to understand how self responsibility unfolds, so that we may assess its progress in any individual child.

For those students who begin with us at a young age, before Grade 4 or so, this awareness develops intuitively and naturally, as they actively pursue knowledge. They are still curious and not afraid to show that spark of excitement. We make certain that we nurture that spark, and respect our children’s interests, feelings, choices and developmental level. Our classes offer them opportunities to make decisions regarding which subjects and materials they will explore, where they will place themselves in the room, and with whom and for how long they will study. These children become used to being in charge of themselves. By the age of 12, they can state openly that they know they are responsible for finishing their projects and units, and that this completion date is entirely dependent upon their own efforts. They understand that they will get out of life precisely what they have put into it. They have lived the concept of self-responsibility. They have learned how to be active, not passive.

For students who arrive from other schools, having participated in teacher-paced, lecture-based classes, they often have accommodated to that controlled environment by becoming obedient, reactive and/or passive, all of which qualities do not contribute to the development of self responsibility. They may still be interested in learning about the world around them, but often have not had the chance to show initiative in exploring their own interests or in organizing their time and materials.

It is a common experience for new upper elementary and secondary students at Banbury to interpret the concept of working at their own pace to mean working at a slow pace indeed. This is particularly true for those students who have experienced some frustration or fear over their work—the idea of studying and producing projects is the last thing they want to do! Many of these students have focused on their social lives, as this is one area in which they can excel. They have built a self-concept and habits of studying over many years by the time they come to us, and these habitual ways are not lost immediately.

How quickly new students are able to involve themselves in our environment seems to depend upon how keenly they are able to see how different we really are—that the teachers do care, that they can get the help they need, that we are non-competitive, that we solve problems and attempt to be kind, and that other students will not judge them harshly. Most of all, they need to realize that the locus of control for their behaviour is inside them.

It takes time for new, predominantly older, students to learn new ways of being. I have heard that it takes one month for adults to learn a new habit that they have chosen to adopt. For children, being in school is expected of them, and is not always something they would willingly choose. Teens sometimes do not see the end purpose of their schooling, so they undervalue it. Other factors also complicate the issue. Emotional or social unhappiness significantly interferes with students’ intellectual progress, as their minds are absorbed elsewhere. Physical challenges also may delay academic work.

This is the time of year when some of these students exclaim, “Oh, I am so far behind! I haven’t worked hard enough! I must need to be pushed, like I was in my old school.” When I hear these words, words that have been repeated with variations many times over the years, I am happy, at least about the first admission. When students can relate their own lack of work to their lack of progress, this is the first step towards their awareness of their own power to choose. Usually, this admission is the precursor to intense work. Sometimes, it takes students reaching the end of June with work unfinished to realize that the pace they had set for themselves was too slow, and that they actually did have goals for themselves that they didn’t realize. The last part of the statement, wishing to return to a school where other people will make them do their work, is a dangerous one emotionally, because if they succumb to it, they may feel powerless to initiate activity the rest of their lives. They will see themselves as needing to be pushed. This is a very dysfunctional attitude for a young person who is entering the adult world, because this is not how adults operate. All adults choose their post-secondary education, their travel, their occupation, their mates, their Banbury, their recreation…everything! They cannot afford to see themselves as passive. They will not flourish in their future if they blame others for their failures and if they cannot acknowledge the credit for their own successes.

So, as we wind down to the end of term, let us celebrate the growth that we have seen in our children, and let us be gentle with them over the challenges they still need to overcome! The goal here is to help these young people to realize the power they really do have to make choices every minute of every day, and that they can change in positive ways. We need to give them hope. Moreover, in order to become lifelong learners, they need to see the purpose of what they are learning, and they need to believe that they are capable of learning it. They need feedback and practical advice, but most of all, they need encouragement and the trust of parents and teachers who believe that they can do it.